These past few days, I was being tortured by the problems, pressure and sadness I’m encountering and experiencing. I’m so afraid of what’s going on with me. Almost everything I’m doing even my daily routine was being affected because of my unpredictable emotions.
          My phobia towards teachers and professors is hitting me again and even the people around me make me feel frightened whenever I did something wrong with them. I become alone and conscious on my actions thinking that everything I suppose to do will result to accident or something bad would happen.
          I know the solution on my problems but there is something that hinders me to do so… I keep on asking myself why I let these things happen to me… I even asked God why He permitted these stuffs to enter my simple life! I even questioned Him what is the real meaning of life and what’s the difference between life and living?!?
          Last night, I asked Ham to define ‘sadness’, and here was her answer: “Sadness is  the result of loneliness..” A very simple answer that hit me so much!! I know that she was not addressing someone when she gave me that kind of definition but on the back of my mind, I felt that she’s striking me.
          It goes like this… Ham’s definition of sadness implies that we are the creator of our loneliness. No one wants to be lonely, but everyone is capable of doing ones self lonely based on his/her own way of being sad. Its just a matter of selection… choosing between sadness or happiness.
          A few seconds, I asked myself, why i chose to be lonely, when in fact, I know the truth that my only aim is to be happy and be contented!! Here goes the CONFUSION!!!
          Maybe I am not really sad… I am just totally confused of the stuffs arising on every corner of my life and i can’t hardly absorb all these things because of my absurdity!!